i think that's it. it ends. once we die there is no more.
that's why i'm not afraid.

soooooooooo
i have this.... crush..... on this girl
who works at Empire Toys in the city.

Today I tried to start conversation with her, and we ended up talking about boxes and aliens
i am so lame!! aha i bet she thinks im stalking her.

i kept coming into the store, cause i forgot to ask them about a certain volume of manga i was after and then the girl in question came out from the back room and i blurted out I'M NOT STALKING YOU, I SWEAR D: LOL


aahhh i made a fewl of myself. and. hmm.
blah!
LOL. i fail at making conversation with people i like >________<

oh my,
i havn't even been on LJ in FOREVER!!!!!!
e-e

rahhh.

i recently attended wai-con and cosplayed Alice (Resident Evil 3) and Ash Ketchum
it was really epic and I found myself stalking cielrose  cause she is uber awesome and said i was cute when i hugged her.
lolembarrassing.



anywho.
lauren and i now have a group called Cake Lust. we are going to eventually become a band but right now we are just making random videos.
we got a WHOOOOLLLEEEEEEEEEEE lot of footage (mostly of us asking people to do the caramelldansen)
so eventually that will be up on youtube for all to see :P
we also took heaps of photos so that should be awesome when lauren comes over and we edit all the stuff XD

w00t! haha. hmmmmmmm.

during the cosplay comp John (the host dude) was talking about stuff during like an intermission or something so i started yelling out DANCE! DO THE CARAMELLDANSEN!!! then other people joined in and started yelling it and then eventually he did it and then heaps of cosplayers ran up on stage and started dancing too and then heaps of other cosplayers from the audience joined in including me and lauren LLOLLLL
it was so fucking funny XDDDDDDD

anywho NCIS is coming on in like OMG RIGHT NOW SHIT LOL

work-friendly kitty costume:

     

after work i transformed into this:

       


i went to the shop dressed like a zombie. muahah.
the checkoutgrrl i usually see there said i looked gooood.
:D

this was actually quite hard :/
THE PRESSURE WAS ON!
of course, my first answer was NCIS :D

oh fuck yeah!
LJ automatically puts my song in the place where it goes down there *points to bottom of entry*
I wonder how long til it will be able to automatically detect my mood, and perhaps even make blog entries for me haha.
I can never be bothered updating this thing, even though I do try. I'm out of practice haha.

is rich text editor broken or WUT?!
lol..


anywho. hi!
i'm not dead. i AM, however, sick and annoyed so heres the last 2 weeks in dot point:

- amy and i are OVAAAARRRRRR, and i dont want to get back together with her. ive been thinking a lot and talking about it with people and ive come to the decision that it was for the best.
- she like, hates me now or whatev for "getting over her so quick". at least im not dwelling on it and being sad all the time and being miserable.

- i got Lauren a job at the post office with me :D it's pretty awesome actually. Keera quit though, so that sucks :(
- the new owners are really growing on me, i might even say i like them better than the old ones hahaha.

- i went to the royal show last sunday as a ZOMBIEEE. we went on the ghost train and i PWNED everyone who works there. lauren convinced me to go on several scary rides such as A FUCKING ROLLERCOASTER, AND THE FUCKING MEGADROP. i was mega scared. pun intended.
i would post a pic of me all ZOMBOID. but apparantly rich text editor fucked off, and i can't be fucked fucking with this entry to put one in. maybe later yeah?
- i got SO SUNBURNT at the show. so s oso s sooso ossgjd roigpj . it was very bad. there was this cute girl on the train on the way home and i wondered why she kept looking over at us. maybe it was because we were on the floor of the train, then swinging from the hand-dangly things hanging from the ceiling, or perhaps because I WAS COMPLETELY RED AND HAD NO IDEAAAAARRRRRRR . it was so bad haha.


- so basically from tuesday until now i have been mega sick. with high fevers ahoy, vomit-inducing cough, not eating anything, and plus my wisdom teefs are coming in so we all know that even if i wanted to eat anything it would hurt too much >_>

i might not be going to work tomorrow. i kinda wanted to though.
my mum went in to the PO the other day to give my boss my medical certificate from the doctors. and Robert thought it would be hilarious to send home a "present" for me. Which just so happened to be this god forsaken DUCK that no one will freaking buy. It's purple and flashes obnoxious colours and makes this fucking loud noise somewhat resembling that of a duck.
Now it's in my house :(
Im taking it back when i return.

i just had to break up with amy.
mum thinks i already did
and its seriously shredding my insides knowing i was lying to both mum and amy. mum thinking i had broken up with amy, and amy thinking we could just get back together next week like all was normal again

I FEEL SO FUCKING GUILTY.

I didn't want it to end like this. and ... its just.................blah
i had to let amy know that there was no way things were going to go back to normal

i hope she doesnt do anything silly
i still care for her a lot.

ok so i dont have time to post a proper entry about this
nor use correct grammar and punctuation.

last night i got home from the movies with lauren and chels
as soon as i walked through the door mum said she wanted to talk
she had been "thinking" and she had decided i am not allowed to see or speak to amy ever again
i refused
she said i had to choose between her or amy

lots of arguing
blah blah
i run out the door
i call lauren while running away
i fall on the road and scrape every place imaginable
i collapse in some random bush area
lauren comes and finds me
mum calls lauren, apparantly mum called the police
shes coming to get me
we go to laurens
i cry lots
laurens mum talks to my mum
lauren talks to me
i cry more
i get in the car. most awkward car ride ever
she "explains" why she made the decision to ban me from seeing amy
she makes me break up with her
i go outside to call amy
i dont break up with her.........fuck

i love her so much, and i feel so bad for leading her on and saying we were still together, last night
she says she will wait for me
i cant see her AT ALL anymore
there is no way our relationship can still go on
fuck
i feel so bad
i need to call her today and tell her i dont want her to wait for me.
its too cruel, she did nothing wrong
i hate myself
 

The stupid new Director of NCIS changed Gibbs' team around
I just had to watch my favourite people get split up
Ziva is going home
Tony and McGee are being sent away to other departments

As If I wasn't already upset that Jenny is dead, they ruin my favourite show even more by fucking up the most perfect team ever.


I hate whoever is responsible for this change in the show.


I'm like... sobbing and crying over a tv show
I don't care what anyone thinks of that, it means a lot to me.
And now other people are messing with it

I love her, right?

fuck.
help me.

amy came over on friday night
aaaaaaand mum came home from work early
resulting in me being forced out of the closet. [not literally]


so yeah now she hates me for inviting a "stranger" over, and my "childish" choice to be gay.
mhmm
my life is so awesome, i tried to throw myself infront of a car this morning and everything

o_o

Today was good
until something happened that i haven't experienced before.

I was really hyped up on red bull at the time so I was giggling, but now I think about it, it was not all that funny.
2 lowlife girls walked past Sporky and I at the bus stop and yelled something like "FUCKIN LESBIAN SLUTS" [which is ironic because they are probably the ones sleeping around with lots of people and getting pregnant at 14] and threw their subway lemonade at us. It really just makes me want to burst out crying now that I think back on it.



:/
eh
im ready, depression.

i miss her.
i dont like when people stare at us when we hold hands
and when they yell and throw stuff at us :C
why do people have to be so narrow minded?

So I went into work today.
The boss told me that he found this alleged $4000 that I had apparantly MISPLACED and he told me that he had put it into the safe and forgot it was there.

He didn't even apologise to me for the accusation that I fucked something up to lose that money.

What a fucker.



----------------------



Anywho, I saw Amy after workie today ^_^
She came over and we hung out etc.
I loves her <33333333
Although she gets a bit carried away with the biting haha. *puts scarf on*
I could go on about how I love everything about her but I won't bore you people with such XD
i miss her alreadyyyyyyyyyy :C

OPWKRPAOSKSFOR
lol.

Soooooooo, called in sick today.
I got my god damn fuckering period. I hate it so much LOL

Anywho so Keera from work calls me and tells me to come outside LIKE RIGHT NOW cause she is in my driveway XD
So I do so, and she tells me that she is quitting soon cause the new boss is an assholeeeeeeee
And he is, so I concurred.
Blah blah blah we talk for a while
I decide im going to start looking for a new job and then quit this mofo one while i can still get out alive LOL

Robert [nu boss] told me my till was down $4000 lmfao.
Im 99% sure its something he fucked up
he doesnt really know much about this job
I didn't even do anything involving $4000 yesterday
so LOLito @ him.


SO NOW I NEED A NEW JOB
HIRE MEEEEEEEEEE :D !!!!!!!!!!

I wanna find somewhere i can have a semi-mohawk at. cause im swish.

I love going shopping in the city ^_____________________________________________^
Amy and I met up today.
aekitjpsorkpgs <333
I don't see her as much as i would like to :C

Things I bought:
MSI's new album
white mens collared shirt, too big, wearing it anyway
emily the strange belt [i can change the buckle on it :D:D:D:D]
Gaz figure with accessoriessss


I also went and visited all the pairs of shoes im probably never going to buy XD

cbf typing anymore.

Walk, you lazy bastard.

Today! I had no work.
^__________^

I left my window open last night and the freakin bird was making unwanted sounds at 7:33am.
So eventually I got up and closed the windooooooow, and went back to sleep :D

Until 9:01am
Got dressed and did my hair
blah blah blah
listened to Emilie Autumn's cover of Bohemian Rhapsody XD

Walked to the shops to buy my girlfriend some credit-o and also bank some money and other boring stuff like that haha
I got lots of weird looks at the shop
I'm not sure if it was because of my neon creepers, my stripey suspenders or the fact I was showing the shaved part of my head XD
I went to work to buy this book I wanted that I hid under the counter haha.
John saw me and was like 'Aaah I should have put you on for today, busy busy busy'
I was like LOL at you, cause im not working today XD
The new owners have to learn how to run the place sometime =/

Anywho, so then I went home and decided it was really hot so I changed my shirt
aaaaaaaaaaaaand then Sporky came over XD
aaaaaaaaaaaaand we "watched" Cloverfield
buahah
hm
end result, i now have a mark on my neck I have to hide  D: D: D:
i'm soooooooooo tired
we almost fell asleep haha
but i made sure Sporky didn't miss her bus :P
The bus driver looked at us weird XD
Lololololol

Ok so I'm rambling nowwwwww.
and my hands are tired
yep.
.

OK SOOOOOOOOOOO
Um um um um
Theres this girl
and
sheeeeee
makes me feel like this: ^_____________________________________________^

and today
she made me feel like THIS ^________________________________________________________________________________^
by asking me out <3

ijtfoewirjtfewijtf eeeeeee *giggles* :D



aahraehrsoeitfosreitosre
words cannot describe how i feel.
really.